“I Told You So”

Breath taking is the beauty I marvel at
For it alone holds memories I’ll die with
Even in the shadows its light will shine
Raging in my mind like an animal caged
Some call it hope while I call it deranged
No soul, no power, no hope to go on
I contemplate if life’s an illusion like God
Feeling shattered like a broken mirror
I wonder if I’ll end up just another killer
These urges force me to clenched fists
I repeat to myself, I never wanted any of this
Tightening my lips so I will not speak
The mind is dark and your opinion bleak
Do I carry on, paving another’s path?
Or do I let my dreams see the stars they cast
Slaving to find a balance that will explain
Cursing as I take the Lords name in vain
So young am I, but by the minute older
The feeling of your presences escapes my shoulder
It’s but a longing now to imagine what if
Like the last note hit on a guitar solo riff
Only should reality be bent and time shifted
Could my heart resign this ache and be lifted
It was I who loved and her that knew not
With tension surfacing like a bullet waiting to be shot
The glass ceiling came crashing down on us
Afterwards, critics would say what’s the fuss?
Have the rug ripped out from under your feet
Be robbed of a feeling too strong yet so deep
And then suffer a sour side of this slice of life
I do not bestow or wish this, but ask will you pass the knife
Cause when the wrist is cut as so, the blood will flow
Then you will remember, that I told you all so

This was a poem I wrote in my teenage years. I was a school adolescent searching for answers to questions that were not easily answered. Even today I don’t ever remember wanting to die, I don’t consider myself suicidal, but knew quite a few people who were. I’ve always considered life a gift. As my dad always says, “You make life what it is,” and so let me know what you think. What’s your thoughts on “I Told You So.” I appreciate all feedback.

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